The trouble with food writers

While I’m on the subject of New York Times critics, I should have a go at Mark Bittman one of their food writers. You might know him from that horrible Spanish travel show with Gwyneth Paltrow. Just before we went to Vienna he wrote a review of this restaurant there called Schweizerhaus.

This is the picture that ran with that article. My initial reaction was to think “what an unoriginal hack.” Of all the interesting food in the modern and cosmopolitan city of Vienna he chose this lame beer hall (with a terrible, macro beer selection btw). If he was going to choose a classic Austrian place, he could have gone to one of those Heurigen (wine bars) that I mentioned before. Anyway, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and went.

First of all, the place is in the middle of this horrible bootleg Disney Land amusement park.

Complete with live horse merry-go-rounds.

All he mentioned was that it was “in one of Vienna's large public parks.” Here is how it really looks (like an amusement park restaurant).

Now, although he ran a picture of Schnitzels, he explained how the specialty of the place is Schweinsstetlze. Here is my picture of that.

Maybe the Times thinks this is too unappetizing to have as their lead photo. But he explains that this is the specialty of the house and describes it this way "the skin is close to crackling in texture, with a thin lacquer, and unbelievably delicious; the meat is soft and juicy."

I don't think I would ever use the phrase unbelievably delicious, but especially when it isn't true. What he fails to mention, but my waiter did when he was convincing me to get mustard with it, is that it is very dry (not juicy). It helps you understand why Germans (ok Austrians) drink so much beer with their food, to wash it down.

Anyway, he is wrong about this place. It isn’t very good. It was an ok authentic Austrian experience I guess (like going to Coney Island if you came to NYC), but he should have been more open about the down side.

People say that I am negative when I describe my travels, but I just like to be honest instead of lying. If I pretend I had some amazing experience and transport people to a magical place that doesn’t exist, that will just leave them disappointed when they go there for real.

The one positive of the amusement park was that they had my favorite pinball machine, World Cup Soccer 94.

Here you can see that I have defeated Germany to win the World Cup.

Finally, this is a picture of Kendra in a very gay mood.

If you click on it you can see that people are on trampolines in the background. Regardless, perhaps I should have put that pic on my last post.